Total Drama 254

1. His earthquakeness and other political nicknames

Election periods in Kenya bring a number of things to the forefront, political alliances, new parties, the popularization of terms into the mainstream and new nicknames. This year, our candidates are going big and potentially going home with their nicknames. From the fifth to his earthquakeness, the range is something we could say we have not seen before but in a previous election, a candidate likened himself to Joshua in the Bible and said he would be taking us to the Promised Land. 

You have to admire the confidence of supporters nicknaming a candidate by the title of a position they are yet to attain and also to call someone “his earthquakeness” and not burst into laughter after you say it. 

The nicknames are just the tip of the iceberg as for the next few weeks we will watch friends turn into enemies, enemies into friends and so much more. The political games being played right now are a master class in dismantling the gender stereotype that women can’t be friends with each other, especially when we have men playing darts with the backs of their so-called brothers. 

2. How can I make their lives even harder?

If there is one thing we can count on the government and our leaders for is ensuring that our lives become significantly harder and this year they said we do this until there are no Kenyans left. This includes enforcing a mandate, despite backlash and a court order, that unvaccinated people be barred from restaurants and other public places. 

Forget implementing a widespread public health campaign debunking vaccine myths, easing fears, and telling people where they can get the vaccines and at what time, the government is sticking to its motto of by fire, by force. 

Despite the governments’ attempts, Kenyans have found a way of surviving the clear disregard that our leaders have for our lives and have been filling in the gaps, raising awareness, and sharing where people can get the vaccine. But true to form, our leaders have found a way to raise the bar on making our lives hell. Last week, Siaya Governor Cornel Rasanga, announced that people who did not register to vote would be denied health services. If denying people their right to health instead of embarking on a voter sensitization campaign is being brought in so early in the game, we can only imagine the surprises they have in store for us over the next few months.

3. School of Osmosis

Speaking of months, we are 6 months away from the season finale, the 2022 Kenyan general elections and as always politicians and government want to act as though what they think will somehow miraculously make it into the minds of the, as of 2020, 53.7 million people living in the country.  

It’s probably why the construction site that is Nairobi has no signage to help drivers in the night when a section of the road is blocked off. Either drivers are meant to intuit that the road will narrow from 3 lanes into 1 in the span of a few metres or there is a frequency on the radio that shares all the details about roads under construction that Kenyans are not privy to. My personal conspiracy theory is that the government is trying to kill us, which doesn’t make sense because they need us to vote for them. But when has this country ever made sense? 

This is probably why they are shocked that voter turnout is low yet voter education, to my knowledge, is not taking place at the scale it ought to be and our leaders are our leaders. Imagine taking the time to raise awareness and educate the Kenyan populace rather than threatening them to register, properly investing and funding IEBC so that voter registration drives and voter education campaigns can go for longer. Imagine divesting funds from other budget lines and pouring it back into the country and the people. 

This season is sure to be full of surprises as we see that they have learned nothing other than how to make our lives harder. 

4. Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will

If ever there was time to know that Kenyan leaders don’t care about you, it’s during the election period when they have the solutions and plans for the problems that are currently afflicting us. Mind you, they are in office, so all the solutions they talk about as their re-election or upgrade my job spiel are things they can do but choose not to.

Kenyan politicians are the masters of  “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” and have even repurposed it to be just because I can, doesn’t mean I will.  We see this every 5 years,as the people mandated to improve the country and work for us lament about the poor state the country is in or that something needs to be done about it. 

The audacity is truly astounding and hopefully this season they find a way to bottle it and sell it, because we could all use some. This is probably the audacity they drink at their swearing-in ceremonies that allows for leaders to say we should keep queer children away from boarding school, spew incendiary remarks at rallies, and introduce a bill to implement poll laws that were last used in 2007 months to the general election. 

It would seem the writers of this season have said “let’s throw everything at the wall and see what sticks,” because we still have 6 months to go and it is exhausting. Despite the political shenanigans and games people are playing to attain power and with our lives, there are small things to give us hope that change is possible.  

Ultimately, we are also writers of this season and can change the story. Hopefully, as the writers of this season we don’t forget to infuse the change we want to see into the story and ensure they have a prominent plot line. We saw the work done by Kenyans in the 80s and 90s for a better Kenya. We can disrupt and waylay the plans the powers that be think they have in store for us. Elections aren’t the only way to be engaged. Let’s plug in the best way we can. This can’t be the only plot line for this season. 

– Beverly Wakiaga